Mushrooms in the Pie

by Hoegard Harfoot
August 24, 2011

As I was going’ over the Brandywine Bridge
I saw Farmer Maggot and his mushrooms he was a counting
I first produced my cudgel and I then struck ‘em on the noggin
I said stand and deliver or flame and shadow may take ya

Musha room dum a do dum a da.
Shrooms for my gaffer-o,
Shrooms for my grammer-o
There’s mushrooms in the pie-o

I took all of his mushrooms and it was a pretty bounty.
I put ‘em in me pockets and I brought ‘em home in folly
My fine hobbit lass swore that she loved me never would she leave me
But the shadow take that hobbit lass ‘cause you know she tricked me easy

Musha room dum a do dum a da.
Shrooms for my gaffer-o,
Shrooms for my grammer-o
There’s mushrooms in the pie-o

I went off to me chamber, all for to take a slumber
I dreamt of mushroom pies and fine hobbit lasses sure twas no wonder
And I never knew the danger for she ate up all the mushrooms and threw me cudgel into the river
Then she sent for Farmer Maggot all ready for the laughter

Musha room dum a do dum a da.
Shrooms for my gaffer-o,
Shrooms for my grammer-o
There’s mushrooms in the pie-o

’twas early in the morning, just before I rose to travel
Up comes a band of hounds and likewise came Farmer Maggot
I could not produce the mushrooms for my lass had et them all for supper
And I could not knock ‘em on the noggin for my cudgel was floating down the Baranduin

Musha room dum a do dum a da.
Shrooms for my gaffer-o,
Shrooms for my grammer-o
There’s mushrooms in the pie-o

Now some folk like the fishin’ and some folk like the smokin’,
And some folk like ta hear, the battle horn a blarin’.
Me? I like mushroom and sleepin’ especially in my lass’s chamber.
But here I am in the marish, here I am planting shire mushrooms for the farmer.

Musha room dum a do dum a da.
Shrooms for my gaffer-o,
Shrooms for my grammer-o
There’s mushrooms in the pie-o

If anyone can aid me ’tis my cousin in the country
If I can find ‘em at the tavern in Stock or maybe in the Delving
And if he’ll go with me, you know we’ll go rovin’ all through Shire
And I’m sure he’ll treat me better than that hobbit lass deceiver

Musha room dum a do dum a da.
Shrooms for my gaffer-o,
Shrooms for my grammer-o
There’s mushrooms in the pie-o