What I did I did not for love of Feanor nor for hatred of Morgoth, our Black Foe. True, I hated him, because he destroyed the Two Trees and brought the Darkness to Aman, and that Feanor was of my people, a Noldo and heir to the King. But it was not for this that I followed him into folly.
When he called us all together at Tuna, I was angered to hear of the Death of our King Finwe at the hands of the thieving Vala Morgoth. But what came after could I have done for no anger. It was his words, the way in which he talked. A great speaker he was, and to not be swayed was no easy task. I was not so easy to stir as many others, but eventually even I began to agree with Feanor, that we should leave this place of brooding and darkness to go into the free worlds over the Sea, to our ancient homes where we could rule our own realms and walk under the stars; but most importantly, where we could seek revenge upon the Black Foe and regain our people’s greatest treasure.
Long did he speak, and none of his words were in vain, for each and every stirred our hearts to a deep anger towards Morgoth and the desire to make war upon him. Then he swore his Oath. “Neither Vala, Demon, Elf, or Man,” he said, would keep a Silmaril from his possession. Though the princes argued and almost fought, those of us who would do the real fighting had for the most part each made his decision. Feanor had stirred our hearts, and many of us, though we quailed at the words spoken, heard ourselves swearing his oath. Then we marched.
Our folly first came clear when we arrived at Alqualonde. King Olwe of the Teleri would not give us his ships, nor would he aid us otherwise. Feanor, after more of us had arrived, decided to take the ships by force. It was not until the Teleri resisted that the Kinslaying began. For me it was an immediate response. I saw the fighting and the killing of my people, so I drew my sword and joined in the battle. Numerous Elves I slew that day, some that I even called friend but a few days earlier. But this was only the beginning for the Noldor, for Namo himself came to us, and cursed us for killing our kin. Many of our people returned to Valinor, but I, and many others, in our pride refused to admit our wrong doings, though we knew they were. And thus came the next grief.
There were not enough ships to ferry us all across, so for many leagues we traveled North along the coast of Aman. Then it was decided among Feanor and his sons to take the ships and leave the others to fend for themselves across the Helcaraxe. Fortunately for me, I manned one of the ships, and so we came to the other side and set foot upon Middle-earth once more. This alone could not have been wrong, for Maedhros son of Feanor purposed to send the ships back to retrieve the others. But the order was given to burn the ships, and as I watched them burn I knew we were doomed.
It was not long after that we came against the forces of our Enemy. We had been setting camp when the battle cry went up, and it was seen that the Orcs had come over the mountains. Many there were, hundreds, thousands, who could count them? But we were strong, and had yet to grow weary of our crusade. We fought hard despite our lack of warning, and drove them back. Many of us fell…
I look forward now, and I see all that is to come. All our hope crushed, all our joys dashed against the wicked rocks of Thangorodrim. Many kingdoms shall fall, some that would not have done so had it not been for us. But our darkest hour shall come before the dawn, when the last kingdom is fallen, and our hope is all but dead, a light shall spring from the far West, and my people shall be saved…
But that is many years to come, almost an Age away for my people. The hardships and the hopes, the destruction and ruin, this is no longer my concern, nor is it a comfort. For, unlike too many of my people, I have come to the only true peace they shall know for many years. I have come to the Halls of Mandos…