What I did I did not for love of Feanor nor
for hatred of Morgoth, our Black Foe. True, I hated him, because
he destroyed the Two Trees and brought the Darkness to Aman, and that
Feanor
was of my people, a Noldo and heir to the King. But it was not
for
this that I followed him into folly.
When he called us all together at Tuna, I
was angered to hear of the Death of our King Finwe at the hands of the
thieving Vala Morgoth. But what came after could I have done for
no anger. It was his words, the way in which he talked. A
great
speaker he was, and to not be swayed was no easy task. I was not
so easy to stir as many others, but eventually even I began to agree
with
Feanor, that we should leave this place of brooding and darkness to go
into the free worlds over the Sea, to our ancient homes where we could
rule our own realms and walk under the stars; but most importantly,
where
we could seek revenge upon the Black Foe and regain our people’s
greatest
treasure.
Long did he speak, and none of his words were
in vain, for each and every stirred our hearts to a deep anger towards
Morgoth and the desire to make war upon him. Then he swore his
Oath.
“Neither Vala, Demon, Elf, or Man,” he said, would keep a Silmaril from
his possession. Though the princes argued and almost fought,
those
of us who would do the real fighting had for the most part each made
his
decision. Feanor had stirred our hearts, and many of us, though
we
quailed at the words spoken, heard ourselves swearing his oath.
Then
we marched.
Our folly first came clear when we arrived
at Alqualonde. King Olwe of the Teleri would not give us his
ships,
nor would he aid us otherwise. Feanor, after more of us had
arrived,
decided to take the ships by force. It was not until the Teleri
resisted
that the Kinslaying began. For me it was an immediate
response.
I saw the fighting and the killing of my people, so I drew my sword and
joined in the battle. Numerous Elves I slew that day, some that I even
called friend but a few days earlier. But this was only the
beginning for the Noldor, for Namo himself came to us, and cursed us
for
killing our kin. Many of our people returned to Valinor, but I,
and
many others, in our pride refused to admit our wrong doings, though we
knew they were. And thus came the next grief.
There were not enough ships to ferry us all
across, so for many leagues we traveled North along the coast of
Aman.
Then it was decided among Feanor and his sons to take the ships and
leave
the others to fend for themselves across the Helcaraxe.
Fortunately
for me, I manned one of the ships, and so we came to the other side and
set foot upon Middle-earth once more. This alone could not have
been
wrong, for Maedhros son of Feanor purposed to send the ships back to
retrieve
the others. But the order was given to burn the ships, and as I
watched
them burn I knew we were doomed.
It was not long after that we came against
the forces of our Enemy. We had been setting camp when the battle
cry went up, and it was seen that the Orcs had come over the
mountains.
Many there were, hundreds, thousands, who could count them? But
we
were strong, and had yet to grow weary of our crusade. We fought
hard despite our lack of warning, and drove them back. Many of us
fell…
I look forward now, and I see all that is
to come. All our hope crushed, all our joys dashed against the
wicked
rocks of Thangorodrim. Many kingdoms shall fall, some that would
not have done so had it not been for us. But our darkest hour
shall
come before the dawn, when the last kingdom is fallen, and our hope is
all but dead, a light shall spring from the far West, and my people
shall
be saved…
But that is many years to come, almost an
Age away for my people. The hardships and the hopes, the
destruction
and ruin, this is no longer my concern, nor is it a comfort. For,
unlike too many of my people, I have come to the only true peace they
shall
know for many years. I have come to the Halls of Mandos…
The End